Jesus Christ!
by Cypher
Summary: With all the religious figures in the universe, this was bound to happen... Slash.


Jesus Christ?!

By Cypher

* * *

I thought this was supposed to be the happiest time of my life. With Canada's new legislation regarding same-sex couples I'd finally convinced Daniel to marry me. Nothing big. The two of us, a priest, and Carter and Pete as witnesses. Just a nice simple ceremony and then retreat to a hotel.

And with our vacation time needing to be used up, we have the perfect cover to have a honeymoon. A week in bed with Danny, being catered on hand and foot by room service, making love at all hours…of course, knowing my lover as I do, he'll probably drag me to a few museums. But it's worth it. Anything's worth being with Daniel.

Except…this.

"I'm sorry, Jack, but I don't want to."

"Come on, Daniel. It's not like I'm taking you to some high profile place. It's a little church, near the hotel…I thought you were serious when you said yes!"

"I was serious--am serious about going through with this." Daniel runs a hand through his hair. "But you know how I feel about churches, Jack."

Oh, I know alright. I have a nasty suspicion that during his childhood one of those "friendly" priests paid special attention to Daniel, and that's what instilled this phobia. But damnit, I'm Catholic, and if I can't get married in one of their churches, any Christian one will do. "I just don't see what the big deal is. We wanna get married-"

"So let's do it at the local city hall or something." He collapses back on my couch and stares at the TV even though it's turned off. "I just have a problem with…institutionalized religion."

He has a problem with religion, period. With all the shit that's happened in his life, I can understand why. I also know he has belief in a higher power, just not one we recognize. Though to be honest, since he descended, that belief hasn't really been around.

Taking a calming breath, I take a seat next to him and turn so I'm facing him, though he has yet to look away from the black box. "I understand that, Daniel. Believe me, I do. But…this is an O'Neill tradition. It's a part of who I am, and while I'm not devout," although considering how often I pray that could be contested, "this is one thing I don't think I can compromise on."

He continues his staring for another few minutes, and I wonder if he's even heard me. Then, suddenly, his shoulders drop and he hangs his head. "Alright, Jack. If it means that much to you…we can get married in a church."

Grinning, I pull him into a hug. I almost miss the fact that he mutters something, but I don't. I couldn't make it out, so I pull back and raise both my eyebrows. "Care to repeat that?"

His face goes a light shade of red. He doesn't flush easily now, at least not when we're not in bed. Which means this is big. Real big. And I won't like it. "I just said I feel uncomfortable getting married in a temple to the Ancients."

Whoa. Hold it. Back the truck up. Every other frickin' metaphor halting the conversation here and now. "A what to the who? You'd better be joking Doctor Jackson." He sighs, and from the look on his face, I can tell he's not. "Oh no. No way, uh uh. Not a chance in hell. Sokar was the devil-"

"And Jesus was an Ancient." He glances at his shoulders, and I realize I've yet to let them go. In fact, I'm squeezing them. Hard. I release him suddenly and cross my arms. "I don't remember a lot from my time…up there, but like the memory with Bra'tac, this one stuck with me, too." He scoots back and turns to face me fully, folding his legs.

Me? I'm having trouble wrapping my mind around this revelation. Jesus was an Ancient. No way…couldn't be right. Couldn't be. "He's…"

"An Ancient, Jack."

He performed healing miracles. The frozen woman in Antarctica could do the same. Walked on water. Ancients can control elements, and they float. He died, there was no body, rose again, and flew off. Daniel died, there was no body--"Jesus Christ!"

"Yep. Don't remember much, though I think he was sort of stuck up." Daniel shrugs, as if this is no big deal. Well, to him it isn't. He never believed in that savior stuff. "That's sorta why I really avoid churches now. I mean, people think they're worshiping God's son, but in actuality-"

"We've been praying to aliens." Oh boy. This is big. Really big. If word got around it would shake the faithless and the faithful…they'd go hunting for the Ancients. Not that I'm adverse to that. I don't like Oma very much.

It also means the tabloids hit another one on the nail. Right up there with Aliens used the Pyramids and Wormhole X-Treme is based on an actual military project. "You mean I went to Sunday School all those years and paid lip service to Oma?!"

"Not her, but that's basically the idea, yes." And he's not at all disturbed that I find this…unsettling.

"Well fuck." I rub my temples. I'm going to have to give this time to sink in. I shouldn't be surprised, I really shouldn't. We've met nearly all religious figures in Earth's history. This was just another. Another one Daniel had befriended. And unlike some, the values he taught weren't so bad…

Daniel's looking at me, tilting his head. What's he…oh, right. That whole church business. Well…you know what? Screw the Ancients. It's still an O'Neill tradition. We're going to get married in a church and that's final. I'll figure out that whole faith crisis later. Daniel and I are getting married, and that's all that's important.

Though I am never taking our children to a church. Ever. Not that I think Daniel'll have a problem with that. Well, maybe the children part. I haven't told him I want any yet. Maybe once the honeymoon's over…

* * *

Author's Prattle: This is based on a question that came up in a discussion. After all, if you're going to base all other major religious figures on aliens, why not the biggest one of all? So that's where this fic came from.

Disclaimer. I don't own Stargate SG-1. It belongs to MGM and its subsidies. I'm just using their characters and settings for my own creative exercises.

As always, feedback is welcome, and I hope you enjoyed reading!


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